Dissonance
by TheRedButlerFan
Summary: Allen Walker confides in a friend his suspicions of the government of Holy Britain, the walled-in city where nothing is what it seems, ruled by the Noah Coup that took over years before. His whole world crashes down when he must flee from his home and search for salvation in a rebellion group called the Black Order. Laven & Yullen eventually. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**[Dissonance]**

**Allen Walker can't remember anything before his birthday at five years old. It's just black, blurry, a mess of smeared color.**

**The Noah Coup, a terrorist group that has taken over the country, has created a walled-in city where everything is artificial- but the citizens have no idea.**

**When Allen Walker slips up and lets a friend know that he's aware of the change in the new government and the the coup d'etat's artificiality, the Noah Coup are after him. To gain protection and a place to hide, Allen joins a rebellion group called the Black Order. There, he begins his new life, he can't go home or the Noah will find him. He meets Kanda and Lavi and develops some rather...interesting relationships.**

When the Order plans to launch their first attack on the dictatorship of the Noah, Allen is spotted amongst the rebellion soldiers and the Noah know where he is. Allen is faced with many different choices: Kanda or Lavi, run and hide or stay and fight?  


**This one was brought by my muse, who is often lazy and leaves her work to the plot bunnies, but every-so-often provides me with an amazing, inspirational idea, like this.  
**

**My muse came to me as I listened to "Holiday" by Green Day, while reading up on dictatorships via Wikepedia, whilst my brothers watched 's "The Lorax".  
**

**Enjoy~!  
**

**TheRedButlerFan**

* * *

[Prologue]

My dream tonight was strange.

I was much younger, I don't know when, but I was as tall as my hips are now. There were lots of other children, and we were all happy.

It was vibrant, the sun was yellow and the moss in the catacomb was green, the stone was beige and the doorways sharp umber. Everything was so surreal, but I suppose that's the way everything is through a child's eyes.

In my dream, the other children and I were running to play in a catacomb of a building..I haven't the faintest idea what the building was called, nor where it was. But it was very familiar to me in this dream, it beckoned me to play with the others.

We were running, our shoes clacking on the pathway of sandstone-like rocks, down a flight of steps and into a secluded place. I knew it wasn't actually a catacomb, but that's what I referred it to as in my mind, 'the catacomb'. We were still outside, mind you, and I felt safer just being there.

Someone cried out in joy, and then all of us hid as part of a game. Someone grabbed my hand, a girl with pretty evergreen hair pulled up into short pigtails. She said something to me, something I didn't hear, but her lips moved excitedly and she pulled me along.

I ran with her, and she led me into a hiding place where the two of us could fit.

We waited for a long time, but when we were found, it was not a child who said the fear inducing words.

"Anarchist children," the soldier growled.

The words struck fear into my being, for in reality, I knew these words well. Anarchist children were the offspring of the people who defied the Holy City of Britain's law.

Just by being born, these children were accused of conspiracy and anarchism. Their only hope of living was the Christianing, a ritual that was kept secret within the walls of the Church.

The man stepped closer, and suddenly, it was blurred shapes and colors, the sun was too bright, the shadows were surrounding me.

I didn't understand.

_Stop...Stop...please..!_

It was dark.

* * *

**That was hard to write. Really, really hard.**


	2. Chapter 2

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter One]

"Allen!"

"Allen!"

"Oi, are you even listening?"

I blinked.

"Eh? Oh, sorry," I apologized to my friend. "I'm just thinking about something."

"Something's on your mind, I know it!" she accused, pointing her finger at me. She flipped her reddish hair, annoyed. "Tell me!"

"Ah, it's nothing. I promise," I nodded to her. She looked unconvinced, but dropped it.

"Another sunny day in Holy Britain!" A cheerful news woman droned on the classroom television. The news was to be watched every day for the first hour of class.

That's just the rules.

"That's right, Mary!" The smiling man sitting next to her had teeth that were almost painfully bright white. "Please take this time to stand and recite the Pledge to the City."

The class stood in unison and began to recite the pledge we'd said since we were young.

_"Within the walls, we shall stay, inside the home, we shall pray, and to the city, we shall adore."_ The class mumbled all at once in the same, monotonous tone. _"This, we swear. Long live the Holy City!"_

I sighed, sitting down as everyone else did. I glanced carefully at the teacher, who was entirely focused on the television. I took out a peice of slightly wrinkled paper and a pen, and I began to write.

_Hey, Neah!_

My handwriting wasn't more than a scrawl of ink, but it was legible, and so I folded it up into a square and passed a look to the dark haired boy next to me. He nodded, eyes looking at the note.

He took it from my hands in a practiced way; in a way that the teacher couldn't see.

A moment later, the note landed on my desk.

**Hey :D What's up, Allen-kun?**

I bit my lip, continuing to write.

_I'm so tired, haha. What about you?_

I passed it back.

It returned not a minute later.

**Ah, same. I had to study all night for the test in Gen. Bio,  
Mom was sooo pissed when she found out i wasn't studying!**

_Really? I was studying all week! The "A" Class says it's really tough._

**I heard that that Link kid in "A" Class got a 98%!**

_No way, Link isn't that smart!_

**It's true!**

I chuckled quietly, fingering Neah's dark pen, the words making indents in the paper.

_Can I tell you something?_

**Anything, what's up, shorty?**

_I'm not short!_

**Whatever. Tell me!**

I hesitated before writing again.

_I'm scared._

**Of?**

_The Holy City._

**Really? Why?**

_I think the government is lying to us, Neah...I think they  
__are hiding something huge from all of us._

Neah read it slowly. I swallowed thickly, praying him to reply.

After a few minutes, Neah sighed shakily and scribbled down on the sheet of paper, his eyes almost disapproving.

**Don't say that, Allen..you know the laws.  
You could be tried in the Church for treason and conspiracy!**

_Even so, I don't trust them._

**Allen... fine, but if something happens to you  
because of this.. I can't say I didn't warn you.**

_Well thanks. -.-_

**It's your fault! You're the one trying to get arrested!**

_God, I can't believe this! I thought I could talk to you about  
__this, but you're the same as all the others! You're  
just like them, Neah, you're exactly what they want us to be.  
_

**Oh really? What's /that/ mean?!**

_You aren't someone I can trust._

I passed the note with malice now. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I knew it.

Neah sat there after reading my reply with his eyes closed, his brow furrowed in thought.

I looked away angrily. A moment later, and it was landing on my desk again.

**Aw, come on, Allen! You can trust me, I'm your best friend! I'm  
just trying to help you out, you're gonna get yourself  
in trouble, saying things like that.**

_Best friend? I can't even speak with someone I don't trust.  
You brought this on yourself._

**Fine, be like that. Get yourself in trouble with the Church!**

_Screw you! I hate you and everyone else in this room!_

Neah never passed it back. I huffed, furious.

Good. I didn't need a fake best friend so I could pretend to go along with this..this whole "Holy City" shit.

There was something wrong with this city, something horribly wrong.

And I had no one to trust now. No one to confide in, no one to help me.

Fine.

I'm okay on my own, anyways.

* * *

The afternoon bell rang, announcing the end of the school day.

I stood stiffly to gather my things.

"Hey, Allen.." Neah said quietly.

I pressed my lips together.

To hell with all of them.

"Hey.." Neah pleaded. "Please speak with me, I only need a moment."

"You've said plenty." I said darkly, giving him the coldest stare I could muster.

"Please, Allen!" Neah begged as I buttoned up my coat, throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"No." I said firmly. "I'm done talking with you."

Neah was silent, his eyes engulfed in sadness.

As I moved to the side to pass by him, I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

"To hell with all of you."

Neah stiffened, and I felt a twinge of smug satisfaction somewhere deep inside me.

Even though I knew I was still upset, I had made Neah just as unhappy, so I could deal.

As I walked home, I repeated a mantra in my head, over and over until I just couldn't stop replaying the words in my mind.

_I don't need them._

_I don't need them._

_I don't need them._

_I don't..._

I walked up the sidewalk, scrounging for the house key in my pocket.

When my hand finally returned from the depths of my pocket with the key, I unlocked the door and entered the small house.

"Anyone home? Evie?" I called, hanging up my coat. No one answered.

"She must be working late again..."

I finished my homework within an hour of coming home, and was left with nothing to do. It was getting late, yet my guardian had not come home.

"Odd," I remarked, turning on the TV just for the sake of filling the room with noise.

I went upstairs to my room, turning on all of the lights, as if I could make outside light again as it grew darker. I smiled at a photo album with a picture of my father and a younger me on the cover. I put a shirt that lay on the floor in the hamper and picked out a book from the shelf.

I scrambled into my comfortable little alcove, settling calmly and opening my book.

And then, it was dark.

Everything, all of the lights, all of it had been shut off.

"What the hell?" I had enough time to say before a loud voice screeched from outside.

"Allen Walker, please vacate your home immediately." A man's voice shouted through what I presumed was a megaphone. "You are to be held in The Court of Holy Britain for trial for conspiracy of the Holy City's government."

What?

How had they..?

I looked out the window. I estimated I had twenty seconds before the police would round about to the back of the house, where I was.

I took a startled breath and ran for my shoes and jacket, grabbing my photo album as I unlocked the window.

I closed my eyes and jumped, clutching the album to my chest.

"Allen Walker, you have one minute to remove yourself from the building before we are forced to infiltrate it." The man on the megaphone ordered.

I landed with a thump and immediately sprinted through the backyard.

Over fences, under wooden picket fences where I just barely slipped through, across alleyways and through near-abandoned streets. I wasn't headed in any particular direction, I just had to get the hell out of there.

I could hardly hear the megaphone screech, "Team 49, enter the building! Allen Walker, come with the officers or we are authorized to force you out!"

I heard something break open, and hopped over another metal fence.

_Don't stop, keep going.._

_If they catch you, you'll die...!_

_Go, go...go!_

A speeding truck swerved, almost ramming into me as I jaywalked- er, ran - across a busy intersection in desperation. Rain was starting to fall, drizzling and soaking my coat.

My boots squished with every step I took, and I ran.

I ran, and I kept running until I had lost myself deep in the outskirts of the city.

_"Hey Mana, I can see the Wall from here!"_

A distant memory danced through my vision as the Wall that surrounded the city came into view.

A man I didn't remember smiled at me in the memory.

_"Never get too close, my son..the coup might be angry."_

I squeezed my eyes shut. This was all too much.

I found a sturdy oak tree in the light woodlands closest to the Wall and climbed as high as I could, settling into a branch where I couldn't be seen.

My rapid heartbeat thumped erratically in my chest; I must have ran for at least an hour.

I knew I didn't have long, maybe three hours before they searched the woods.

It suddenly hit me, a wave of realization, and with it, tears of anguish.

Neah had betrayed me.

He'd told the police.

Tears ran down my face, anger and fear and hate, raw and pure.

Evie..I'd probably never see her again. My guardian, who'd protected me for so long.

Who shared my suspicions about Holy Britain..

What if they had already taken Evie, and that's why she was late? What if she was being held in the prison as I fought to catch my breath?

I tried not to make any noises of grief as I held on tightly to the photo album and cried quietly, eventually falling asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Two]

I woke, startled.

The rain had stopped, and it was still dark, just before sunrise.

I rubbed my eyes and pushed the album up under my shirt, tucking in my shirt so it wouldn't fall out when I started to run again.

I shimmied down the tree, none too leisurely, and speed walked, ignoring the pang of a headache that was coming on.

I knew I didn't have time to lounge about, and I had to find a safe haven, somewhere I could stay out of the police -and everyone else's radar.

The trees were planted in a perfect line, and I decided to follow the trees, putting me in between the woodlands and the wall.

I walked for a long time.

* * *

[Three weeks later]

I ducked under a dumpster.

I hadn't seen a dumpster in years, since Holy Britain was considered a "clean utopia", I thought they didn't exist anymore.

At least, within the Wall.

A fat cop drove by in his squad car, inspecting the alley I was in as he drove past curiously. I sighed and stood back up.

The sun shone cheerfully as I scuffed my boot on the ground. My right boot was already falling apart, the sole in near shreds and the fabric salt-stained forever. The left was no better, the lining on the inside had worn away and again, the salt stains. My boots weren't the best shoes for the harsh weather of early spring.

My jacket probably smelled, as with the rest of my clothes. I couldn't tell, but maybe I'd gotten used to it.

It has been weeks since I went to school, saw Evie, saw my friends. I felt a pang of sadness again before brushing it off and trying to make myself look semi-decent before leaving the alley so I wouldn't cause any distraction.

I was far from my home, but still within Holy Britain. Holy Britain was large, much larger than a mere city, but not yet large enough to be a country. 'The Holy City' was just one of its nicknames.

"Excuse me," I muttered, pushing past a citizen of the city, who coughed and said 'Rude' as I passed.

I saw a familiar mop of black hair standing at a storefront, browsing the fruits and vegetables.

"Neah.." I growled. I wasn't close enough to be in hearing range of him. Rage coursed through me.

It was all his fault.

He suddenly turned in my direction, and I tried to lose myself in the crowed, but to no avail. My white hair had no help in hiding me.

"Allen...?" he asked. I could barely hear him, we weren't close enough. He strode towards me. I turned slightly, defensively rude, crossing my arms. "Is that you?"

"Tch." I glared at him. "Get lost, you bloody arse."

Neah looked taken aback by my foul words.

"Allen, why the harsh words?" He asked, his brow furrowing.

"Why the harsh words?!" I hissed, trying not to raise my voice. "Why the harsh words?! It's your fault, all of this bloody mess! You cost me my life, my home, and my safety!"

"What do you.." Neah stared at my appearance.

My usually brilliant white hair was mottled gray, from rainwash and dirt and sleeping in trees and sewers. My skin was filthy, though I'd tried to scrub it away with dishwater from a pipe in a sewer underneath a restaurant. My clothes, as I've said before, were near tatters. Three weeks can change a person's appearance.

"Oh my gosh..Allen, I'm so sorry." Neah apologized. "I didn't think.."

"You didn't think they'd come after me in the middle of the night when you squealed? You didn't think I'd escape? You didn't think I'd end up like this, you didn't think you'd ever have to see my face ever again?" I glowered at him, clenching my fists. "Or did you not think it through before you went and shared our little conversation to some manky official or bloody teacher?"

Neah looked hurt, immensely so. He bit his lip, a trait learned from me.

"That's right." I snapped. I gave him a menacing glare. "Report seeing me, Neah Walker, and so help me, I will find you and kill you. Goodbye."

Neah was absolutely shocked at my chilling words, but I turned and left.

Three weeks of pure hate brewing in your system changed a person. Especially a person who adapts easily to harsh environments, like me.

"Wait!" Neah called. I turned, albeit not willingly, it was instinct. "Please..take this."

Neah tried to hand me at least twenty dollars in cash, but I grimaced in disgust at the bills. I swatted it away.

"To hell with you and your money!"

The money scattered across the sidewalk, earning me a glance by a few civilians.

"Shit." I turned quickly and left Neah in his shame. I had to leave, now.

I fled the marketplace, pick-pocketing a few wealthy men as I went. I earned myself sixteen dollars. I didn't need Neah.

I didn't need him or any other Holy Brit's help.

I narrowed my eyes, glancing at my surroundings.

Since when was there a black market here?

Shady looking men and quite a few hookers and whores were abundant on this street. I'd never wandered this far.

I caught sight of a girl with dark green pigtails.

_Those are so not her real hair color,_ I thought to myself.

The memory of a recent dream clouded my eyes.

My 'memories' came to me suddenly and randomly, at any given time something could trigger one. They'd gotten worse since I ran away.

_A girl with evergreen hair pulled up into short pigtails grabbed my hand, and we were running. Running to find a place to hide as part of a common game._

I coughed, shaking away the fog that came with the memories, and winced as the usual migraine occurred.

"Oi, kid," a smarmy-looking man grinned. "I've got pain meds, cheap. You want in?"

"I'm not interested," I muttered, casting him a glare.

The green-haired girl disappeared into the crowd of people browsing the so-called black market.

I followed a few boys a bit older than me, each probably nineteen. One had a mangled face and a bald head, the other with piercings to boot and blonde hair.

They were chatting quietly about some sort of rebellion against Holy Britain.

Hey, I wanted part of that.

I chuckled to myself.

"Hey," one of the teens, the one without a hair on his head, turned. "You been listening to us? I'll pound ya!"

The boy was restrained by his acquaintance, who muttered, "He ain't worth your time, Ratch."

"Excuse me," I started. "What is the Black Order?"


	4. Chapter 4

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Three]

"Why do ya wanna know?" The bald one asked harshly.

"I don't want to sound like an eavesdropper, but I'm against Holy Britain and I need a place to stay for a while." I said, looking tougher than I felt.

"Heh, I like him." The other boy, with the multiple piercings, chuckled. "C'mon, Ratch, let's show 'im."

Ratch looked at his acquaintance, unsure, but grunted and nodded.

"Come on, dude." The boy with the piercings beckoned me to follow them. I nodded gratefully.

"Thank you."

"So polite." Ratch snickered. "You sure you ain't some proper schoolboy?"

"Please," I rolled my eyes. "I'm not that nice. I'm just being friendly to you, since you're showing me kindness."

"I see." The boy with the piercings waved at a burly looking man and a slut nearby. "I'm Cory."

"Allen."

"Nice-ta-meet'cha, Allen." Ratch greeted. We were going deeper into the depths of the city, until there was no one left in the streets but us three.

"We're supporters of the Black Order." Cory explained. "We were some of the first. But we don't fight with them, we trade."

"Fight...?"

"Nn. They'll talk to ya later about it." Cory and Ratch stopped in front of an old subway tunnel entrance.

"They used to use these, almost everyday." Cory smiled wistfully. "The city people, I mean. Now, the subway is obsolete. They've got the vapor-movers now."

Ratch started going down the few stone steps into the tunnel.

"We're almost there, let's get on with it. I've got things to do." Ratch snorted. "Trading is good on Fridays."

_It's Friday?_

We followed Ratch through the dark passages, and he turned to the left sharply, and as we rounded the corner, a lobby was revealed, bustling with life.

Almost all of the people were wearing black uniforms with silver buttons and a cross-like emblem on the breast. I watched in silence as Cory and Ratch led me through the crowds and towards an office desk. The words "Subway Tickets" were emblazoned above the small office, and in black paint, someone had written "Black Order Rebellion Entrance" above the white box-letters.

"Hey, Cory, Ratch. Here for trade?" A man with spiky blonde hair slicked back asked, scratching his chin. "That's strange, we usually trade only on Sundays."

"Nah, we got a recruit for ya, Reever." Ratch replied, leaning on his elbow. "His name is Allen, and he needs a place to stay, y'know, off the radar."

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. "How did you-"

"Polite little schoolboys don't walk around asking for a place to stay for no reason. The officials after ya?" Ratch asked blatantly.

I looked down. "Yeah."

"Don't worry, we've got plenty of space." Reever smiled. "You only have to fight when we need extra help. We need more people, what with the Noah Coup getting more powerful."

"Noah-?" I gasped, another memory cutting through my line of sight. I couldn't see the Black Order subway lobby anymore. It was a political banner.

_'The New Order of_

_the Noah Coup D'etat_

_Declares upon all citizens_

_of the Holy City Britain_

_that those who have not_

_been converted must without_

_question arrive at_

_the Church by Holy Sunday_

_the Fourth, for those who_

_shall not will be declared_

_Anarchists of the Holy City._

_-Act No. 67 of the year 2002.'_

_"Hey, Mana," a younger me asked the man I still had yet to recognize. "Are we going to the Church?"_

_"No." The man's tone was clipped, his mouth pressed in a thin line. "Never."_

I shook the memory away, looking around dazedly.

"Oi, you alright?" Cory asked worriedly.

"Yeah, just...tired." I nodded, calming down my breathing.

Cory smiled.

"Of course, ya'are. Reever, check him in." Cory ordered. Reever chuckled in annoyance, muttering a 'Don't boss me around..'.

"We gotta go. Customers are waiting." Ratch growled.

"Full name, age, and any medical issues including allergies?" Reever asked pointedly at me.

"Er, Allen Walker, 16 and..the rare asthma attack?" I said, a bit unsure.

"When was your last asthma attack?"

"Um...A few months ago. Maybe February?"

"Komui'll give you a right checkup in a bit, once he gets his lazy..butt in here." Reever scratched his head tiredly, muttering something I didn't hear into a microphone clipped to his ear.

"I gotta leave, like, now. See ya, short-stack." Ratch grumbled to me.

"I'm gonna head out too." Cory smiled, following Ratch as he left. "See'ya Allen!"

"Bye.."

"Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming!" A purple-haired man grouched, pinching the bridge of his nose and tightly holding a mug of coffee. "What is it, you ingrates?"

"Doc, we got a newbie. He's in need of a checkup so he's all set." Reever ignored the man's 'ingrate' comment, handing the man my forms.

"Allen Walker?" I nodded, and the doctor eyed me carefully. "Let's get on with it."

I followed who I presumed was 'Komui' through the lobby and into an empty room, save for the faux wooden table similar to kind at my school. There was a small filing cabinet underneath it, probably filled with medical supplies.

"Please sit."

I did as I was told, the doctor shutting the door behind us.

"List every injury, sever sickness, or allergy attack you can remember, please," Komui ordered, holding his pencil to his clipboard.

I thought for a minute.

"When I was seven, I broke my arm on the playground. I think my first asthma attack happened when I was eight. I got chicken pox when I was ten and I had an allergic reaction to..I think it was a bee sting? Yeah. Bees." I nodded, deep in thought. "I was hospitalized for maybe four months for rehab after that, since I almost died. Another asthma attack when I was 12, another when I was fifteen. None since. I went through a..depression, I suppose, when I was thirteen and was hospitalized again for suicide rehab. I tried to kill myself 'cause I hated my old foster parents."

I scratched my head awkwardly. I didn't like remembering that.

"Anything else?" Komui finished scribbling on my file.

"I've had weird memory-things happening. Does that count?"

"'Memory-things'?"

"Sometimes, a word or image or whatever triggers memories from when I might've been really little. I don't remember the memories, but they're all familiar. I don't know why." I said, thoughtful. "It's probably nothing."

"You say they're triggered by something?"

"Yeah. Like, if I were to see a picture of something, it might trigger a memory. My eyes black out and I can't see or hear or feel anything but the memory." I chuckled nervously.

"When was your most recent occurrence?" the doctor asked.

"A few minutes ago." I replied, cracking my knuckles anxiously. It was weird, telling someone about them.

"What triggered it?"

"Reever said the name 'Noah'.." I said quietly.

"Noah?"

"Yeah."

"I see." Komui scrawled a few more words and looked up at me. "What about before you broke your arm when you were seven? Anything before then?"

"I.." I bit my lip, looking around, wary. "I don't remember anything before when I turned five."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing at all. It's all black." I grit my teeth. I didn't enjoy questions like this.

"Do you think the memories are from before you turned five?"

"That's enough. We don't need to talk about that right now." I growled, narrowing my eyes. "I don't know, and don't really want to know. Something bad could've happened. Maybe I forgot on purpose."

"Maybe. But that's highly unlikely for a five-year-old." Komui remarked. I stuck my tongue in my cheek. I didn't like him very much. "Perhaps there was an incident, or you're just not telling me..?"

"Stop!" I snapped, my voice loud. Komui blinked.

"Fine, fine." He sat down in a chair I hadn't seen earlier. "The check-up is over. Now, any injuries currently?"

"I have a nasty scratch on my leg, but that's all."

"Can I see?"

I pulled up my pant leg on my right leg and revealed the cut. I fell out of a tree a week before.

The cut looked more healed than a few days ago. The skin was tinted purple closest to the scratch, and it had scabbed over.

"That's a horrible cut you have," Komui noted. "But it should be fine in a few days."

Komui looked closer. "You've got a bruise on your temple."

"Do I?" I felt my temple lightly with my fingertips. "I don't know how I got it."

"Alright. You're free to go," Komui sighed, signing the form in messy doctor handwriting. "I believe there's a vacancy in dorm seventeen."

"Thank you."

"Reever will give you a key."

I nodded, standing.

I left the check-up room quickly.

I didn't like Komui, not at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Four]

"Dorm 17?" Reever shuffled around to find a key in a mess of key rings until his found the one he was looking for. "Here it is!"

I thanked him, took the key, and turned around only to be face-to-face with the girl with the green pigtails.

I noticed on the side that her eyes were purple-ish. Weird.

"Hi, Allen Walker, right?" she asked, smiling.

"Ne." I said, smiling politely.

"I'm supposed to show you around. This _is_ a big facility, you know." she motioned to the lobby. "Come on, let's give you the grand tour!"

"Thank you," I cocked my head. "..But I'll find my way around. If you could just show me where all of the dorms are, it'd be fantastic. I'm under a little bit of stress," I added in when she looked put down. "I'm just not feeling up to anything right now."

"Oh, of course!" she led me into a hallway lit with thick candles along the walls, where shelves had been put in to hold them. We delved further within the tunnel, and the candles became more and more in quantity as it got darker. "The subway used to have at least fifty storage compartments, and we remodeled them into dorm rooms. We only say 'dorm' because we don't like calling them apartments, but really, that's what they are."

"Nn."

"Dorm 13, Dorm 14..." the girl counted the numbers above the doors, also written in black paint. "16...17! Here you go!"

She gestured to a room with the number '17' painted above it. I thanked her, smiling.

"What's your name? I never got the chance to ask earlier."

"Oh, Lenalee."

"Lena-" My legs crumpled underneath me and another memory flooded my senses. "A-ah!"

My photo album, my hands being numb since earlier that day, dropped to the floor.

It was a memory of the dream again. A little girl with short, evergreen-colored pigtails smiled at me, grabbing my small hand.

"Come on, Aren!" She had a very subtle accent..Asian, I think. I looked around wildly, trying to shake the memory away, but to no avail. The dream continued to play, and a migraine spawned on the left side of my skull.

I felt like throwing up.

Maybe four minutes later, I blinked a few times and saw Lenalee standing over me, her eyes full of concern.

"Allen?"

"Ah, I'm fine." I said reassuringly, picking up my photo album and standing up. "I just..er.."

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She smiled softly. "We've all got secrets."

"Thank you. For showing me my dorm, as well." I smiled, still a bit dizzy, and as she turned to leave, I unlocked the door and went inside.

Inside was a small bed- no, a cot, a blanket, and a small box, probably to put clothes or other important items in.

The room was lit by yellow-tinged candles, almost as thick as those outside my dorm.

I sat down wearily on the bed, crossing my legs.

I opened up my album, my fingers ghosting the first page, a note written just before my father had died.

"Allen-

There comes a time

when change must occur

to make life go on. I

gave you this photo album

to tell you that although

things change, not all things

should be forgotten. Please

remember them, even if you

don't know what will happen

if you do.

-Cross Marian''

Most fathers would sign "Dad" at the bottom of notes to their children, but mine never did. I never called him "Dad" or "Father", either. It was always "Cross".

I don't know why.

I flipped through the photos slowly, tears forming in my eyes.

"I hate everything, Cross." I whispered. "Every bloody thing. Why should Neah go unpunished for what he's done to me, while I live in some blasted abandoned subway tunnels?"

Cross didn't reply.

I sighed and hid the album in the small box I saw earlier and put it under my cot.

I blew out the candles, absentmindedly seeing a box of matches next to them, and crawled under the blanket, engulfed by the darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Five]

When I woke, the candles were already lit.

If that doesn't freak anyone out, I don't know what does.

I stood sleepily out of bed and immediately crumpled to the ground, my legs useless.

Another memory.

But this one wasn't like the others.

My eyes were only seeing darkness, it was all black. None of the pretty pictures and thoughtful memories and blurry colors from before.

I could hear nothing, except for a high pitched ringing in my ears. I desperately looked around, I had no idea what had triggered this fear-inducing memory.

Standing up couldn't possibly-

Suddenly, the heat of the room intensified, and the sharp ringing in my ears grew more prominent, and it was to the point where I couldn't feel myself or any pain I might've been in. I cried out, a bead of sweat trickling down my face.

"Help...!"

No one answered. I tried to move my arms, but suddenly they were pulled straight and tied against something. My legs as well, tied to something flat behind me.

"Anarchist child.." someone very far away whispered. I screamed in terror.

"Let me go! Let me go!" I pleaded, turning my head wildly to try and see the intruder. "I'm nothing like that! I swear!"

"You are the son of an anarchist.." it whispered again, still far away. "Allen..Walker.."

"No! No!" I screamed, my body trembling. I didn't know if the migraine had started yet; I couldn't feel it. "**N****o!**"

And I collapsed on the floor.

I was in my dorm in the Black Order, the candles lit and shining, comforting.

I gasped, my breath coming in short pants, my head aching with a ferocity I have never known it could have. I felt like throwing up and dying and writhing on the ground and begging for it to be over. The migraine pulsed, sending heat flashes with each new beat down my spine, sending me into a hot panic, disoriented and sweating like some animal.

I laid on the cold floor, trying to stay cool against the memory's aftershock.

They'd never been this bad.

I was terrified of another memory popping up. It never was the same one twice, but what if it came back and I wasn't in my dorm? What if I was talking to Lenalee, or helping Ratch and Cory with something, or fighting the City with the rest of the Black Order?

I was dizzy and wanted to go back to bed for another month, but I waited as my body soon took control of itself.

The hot flashes reduced until they were gone, my skin clammy like I had a fever. I didn't though, I was positive.

My breathing slowed next, my legs stopped quivering and I gained the ability to move my arms again slowly. I did exactly that, and I sat, crouched over on the floor, for probably ten minutes I breathed steadily, my chest rising and falling.

"Cross wasn't an anarchist." I told myself steadily. "There's no way. He loved the Holy City."

I shakily stood up and went to the bathroom to wash my face and hands. I felt filthy.

* * *

"Hey, Allen!" Reever called, smiling as he checked in two people. There was a brunette with shoulder-length wavy hair, curvy enough to make most girls cry with envy. Then there was an almost unrealistic redhead, his hair pushed up by a scaly-looking bandanna, a childish light in his eyes.

"Hi, Reever." I smiled.

"Oi, who's this?" The redhead grinned, stepping closer to size me up. "New trader..?"

Before Reever or myself could respond, he stepped closer, ending up almost five inches from my face. My cheeks went hot.

"Or perhaps, this is a new recruit?"

"I-I er.." I stammered. "I'm Allen."

The redhead looked dumbfounded for a moment, before bursting out with laughter.

"Oh, man..!" he laughed. "I thought you were a girl!"

"What?!" I screeched, tugging on a strand of white hair. "I'm a guy! How could you-"

"You're so short, and you've got such a pretty face and high voice, it's not hard to make a mistake in your gender." the redhead replied, chuckling. "I'm Lavi. Nice to meet ya, Allen!"

I pouted, crossing my arms.

"Hey, Lavi!" Lenalee called behind me. I turned to see her running up to the both of us.

"Lenalee, do I look like a girl to you?" I asked, silently praying for a 'No, Allen! You're totally manly!' sort of thing.

"Um.." she looked confused. "A boy..?"

"See!?" I pointed at Lavi, still a bit flustered. "I don't look girly!"

"Whatever you say..Allen." Lavi rolled his eyes. "So what are you? A trader or a new Black Order recruit?"

"The second one." I sighed. Lenalee shrieked.

"Miranda!" she cried, running towards the brunette. "You've been gone for months!"

The brunette, Miranda, smiled daintily, hugging Lenalee back enthusiastically.

"It was hard," Miranda said quietly. "There was Holy City guards everywhere..I thought I'd never get back into Britain!"

"You left the City?!" I asked, amazed. "Past the Wall?"

Miranda nodded.

"I had to retrieve something from France." Miranda smiled. "But don't worry, Komui only sends out the most experienced soldiers out to do risky missions like leaving the City Wall. I've only been out twice myself!"

"Reever, do you think I'll ever go past the Wall?" I asked, still in awe.

"Not for a long time, Allen." Reever chuckled. "It's very dangerous."

"So is running from an entire section of Holy City officers," I muttered under my breath.

"What's France like?" Lenalee asked, jovial at the return of her close friend.

"Big. Much bigger than Britain!" Miranda said excitedly. "Look, I got you something. I found it in a jewelry box in a house that was..er..destroyed."

Lenalee looked at her questioningly as Miranda produced a shiny necklace with a single charm on it, a little red heart encased in silver outlining.

"Oh, wow!" Lenalee fingered the pretty gem of a necklace, the glomped Miranda a second time. "Thank you very much!"

Miranda didn't take for the fighting type, I decided, as I scrutinized her frail figure. She looked weak. Lenalee, as well.

Too dainty to be a soldier of rebellion.

I shook the thoughts away.

"Oi, Allen. You wanna eat with me?" Lavi asked, the girls saying a quick goodbye to the two of them before running off towards the dorms.

"Oh, um, sure." I followed Lavi as we walked towards a very busy room, complete with food court-resembling tables. In fact, the cafeteria had a sign that said "Food Court" above the large area.

"Jerry!" Lavi called.

"Hey there, Sweetpea!" An Indian man with a long, strangely colored braid whipping through the air as he turned to face the counter that was announced as "Food Pickup!" on a sign.

"Can I get.." Lavi thought for a minute. "Hmm. I'd kill for a bowl of your chicken chili, Jerry-san."

"Comin' up, sweetie!" Jerry disappeared for a minute, and Lavi licked his lips excitedly. "You'll love Jerry's food. It's absolutely the best in the City."

"Here you go!" Jerry handed Lavi a dish full to the brim of the light orange-colored chili. Jerry glanced at me curiously. "And who is this cutie? What's your name, Honeybun?"

Honeybun? Was he calling me chubby?

"Allen Walker."

"A perfect name for such a handsome boy. What can I get ya, dearie?" Jerry asked cheerfully.

"Can I get anything I want?"

"Always!"

"Can I have thirty sticks of mitarashi dango please?" I asked hopefully.

"Coming up!"

I waited almost three minutes before a plate of my favorite food of all time appeared before me.

"Here it is, Allen-dearest!"

I blinked at the awkward nickname, but thanked the strange Indian and took my plate. I spotted Lavi waving to me from a nearby table.

"Don't mind Jerry's 'adorable' talk. He doesn't mean anything by it." Lavi smiled, blowing on a spoonful of chili.

I blinked, half a dango already in my mouth. Lavi stared at me in the eye, smirking a bit.

"Except, you are pretty cute for a boy."

I felt my face go hot again.

"H-hey!"

"I mean, I honest to God thought you were a girl when I saw you earlier!"

"Augh! You're impossible!" I stammered, trying to keep Lavi from seeing my pink face.

"It's true, Allen-chan. There've been little kids like you running around before, but they never last." Lavi said solemnly.

"You mean...?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, they died early. They couldn't handle life out here." Lavi said, thoughtful. "But I have a good feeling about you. You're gonna live."

I blinked, surprised.

"Well, thank you." I smiled, my blush forgotten.


	7. Chapter 7

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Six]

We ate, making chitchat and learning more about each other. I learned that Lavi was almost nineteen, and he'd joined the Black Order at fourteen.

Lavi was brought here by a man only known to the Order as "the Old Man" and had met his best friend here.

"Yuu?"

"Yeah, Yuu-chan. He's a cranky bastard, but you learn to love him." Lavi said, his tone light and teasing. "I'm sure you'll meet later. He's out on a short-term mission, he should be back tonight.

"Anyways, it's your turn to talk, Allen-chan!" Lavi stared pointedly at me. I sighed.

"I'm sixteen, and I came here because..because.." I clenched my fists, Neah's face popping up in my head. "Someone betrayed me, and now the officials are after me for conspiracy against the Holy City."

"Wow, that's harsh." Lavi commented, his head in his hands.

I nodded.

"I saw him today. He acted like he'd done nothing wrong." I said, mostly to myself, though Lavi surely heard it. "Anyways. I don't mind living here...it's kind of nice."

"So what Ratch and Cory said about you is true?" Lavi asked. "That you're just a polite schoolboy?"

"Ratch and Cory? Oh. No, I'm being polite because first of all, I'm new here and can't afford to be kicked out, second of all, you all are showing me kindness." I said, finishing my last dango. "If you were, just an example, the person who ratted me out to the officials, your ass would already be flying across the room. I don't forgive easily."

Lavi looked shocked, but relaxed again. "Man, I almost feel bad for him. I mean, he made a bad choice, squealing on someone who can kick his ass and eat his lunch at the same time."

Lavi and I laughed for a minute.

"I never wanted to come here," Lavi said quietly. "I wanted to be normal when I was younger, but then the Holy City found the Old Man and I traveling. The Old Man was injured..and I lost my eye to a man with a gun."

He fingered the eye patch wistfully.

"That's horrible." I murmured. "Some people just don't understand how much pain they inflict."

"Like your squealer."

"Like your shooter." I said, just as evenly. We both laughed again.

"Man, it's great to have someone like you to talk to." Lavi chuckled, grinning. "I've never met anyone who I can talk so easily to, besides Yuu, but he's not much of a ranter."

"I like it too." I smiled back. "Oh, jeez, what time is it?"

"About four in the afternoon."

"We've sat here that long?" Lavi nodded.

And suddenly, someone with long, black hair pulled up into a ponytail entered the food court. He looked somewhere between pained and cross, and I say pained because there was a bloodstain at the corner of his mouth and his uniform was shredded.

"Oi, Rabbit," he called in our direction.

"Heya, Yuu-chan!" Lavi said cheerfully.

"Hey, he's bleeding! Someone-"

"Calm down, Allen. Yuu's a fast healer." Lavi smiled. "He's fine."

"Rabbit, get the damned nurse," Yuu growled. "Something's wrong..and don't call me that!"

"Isn't his name Yuu?" I asked, some other people running to find the nurse.

"Yes, but he prefers the surname 'Kanda' over his given name, 'Yuu'. I guess no one called him 'Yuu' in Japan," Lavi snickered. Kanda toppled over at our table, his head in his arms as he sat. He panted heavily.

"Dammit, Rabbit...I'm serious!" Kanda swore, glaring at Lavi with the fires of Hell in his eyes. "I'm not.."

"Not what, Yuu?"

"Don't..call me that." Kanda muttered weakly.

I assumed Kanda wasn't like this often. He must've been hurt bad.

"Oi, Kanda Yuu!" A grouchy-looking woman in a nurse uniform screeched, running at Kanda. "You know better than to get yourself into critical condition!"

"Shut your trap," Kanda growled, and the nurse huffed before forcibly dragging Kanda away.

"..that was your best friend?"

"Yup."

**As some of you will notice, I'm making Kanda OOC in this chapter. The reason why Kanda's tattoo isn't healing him properly is confidential until much later in the story. It will all make sense eventually, I swear.**

**-TheRedButlerFan**


	8. Chapter 8

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Seven]

[A week later]

I strolled up to Lavi excitedly.

"Hey, Lavi! Guess what!" I said, my eyes shining.

"What, Allen-chan?" Lavi asked, staring down at me.

"Komui is sending me on a mission with you and Lenalee-san!" I beamed. I thought for a second. "Though, it's a 'practice mission', and I'm only allowed to observe what you guys do.."

"Ah, the mission to the Wall and Guardgate."

"Yup!"

"Good for you, Allen-chan!" Lavi ruffled my hair. "I'm glad you're finally being sent out of the Order. I only had three days to be stuck in here before Komui gave my my practice mission."

"Only three days? Lucky!" I pouted, crossing my arms.

"Then again, Yuu was sent out on his first day..and he was only seven!"

"Really?!" I asked, astonished.

"Yuu's the best soldier the Order's got," Lavi replied.

The Guardgate was the only way- no, the only legal way out of the Holy City. Obviously, the mission was to see who was apparently coming into Britain to see the Noah.

"Hey, Allen-chan, promise to be careful when we go? Lenalee is serious about missions, and she'll cast us aside as "In the way" if we misbehave."

"In the way? Why?" I asked, before my knees hit the ground in a familiar way. My vision was blurring.

Why now? Why now after almost three days without a memory?

Why in front of Lavi, of all people?!

"Allen-chan?!"

My hearing was cut off, and then it was pitch black. I recoiled in fear, remembering the early morning memory from a week before.

Anything but that again.

Please.

To my relief, it slowly got lighter. It was still dim, but I could see where I was.

My first thought was 'church'; the room was garnished with golden crosses and red velvet wall hangings. I tried to move, but it seemed I was strapped to a large cross myself, the ropes burning my wrists and angles. My chest was bare, riddled with ash and debris.

Had I been crucified?

Why was I stuck like this?

I listened carefully, my breathing short and raspy, as if I'd just done something strenuous.

"_We've got to put him in with the replacement family. If we don't, he'll just be in the way._" A gruff voiced hissed.

"_The only available replacement family is Cross Marian. He's volunteering, but he isn't married or a father. How can we know he is trustworthy of the program?"_ Another man asked.

A third spoke.

"_I trust Cross Marian. He's been a supporter of the Holy City since the beginning, and he'll definitely be okay with replacing that Anarchist Child's father."_

_"Mind your words, Lloyd." _The fourth one chided. "_He's a Holy British child now, isn't he?"_

Before I could he more of the conversation, I was aware of the feeling of cold tile on my back, the iciness of it seething through my shirt. I blinked warily, and I saw a blurry Lavi crouching over me, his eyes confused and full of concern.

"Allen-chan?" he asked, shaking my shoulders. "Allen-chan, are you awake?"

I looked around blearily to see that a crowd had formed. Absolutely fantastic.

"Lavi," I said. "I'm fine."

My hands shook, but not noticeably, and I carefully stood up.

A wave of nausea hit me, and I stumbled backwards and onto my butt.

"Ow," I hissed. "Dammit."

Lavi shooed away the crowd and helped me up, though I protested.

"Allen-chan, what exactly was that? We were talking and suddenly you're on your knees and unconscious! Then you fell back and.."

"It's nothing, Lavi," I smiled, trying to assure him.

"That wasn't 'nothing'!" Lavi shrieked. "You were barely conscious, and you were twitching and moaning and your hands were trembling!"

"Nothing's wrong!" I growled.

"Yes, there is most definitely something wrong!" Lavi insisted.

"Lavi!" I said firmly. "Nothing's wrong with me. I'm fine, okay? Can we just let it go? Please?"

Lavi looked angry, but dropped it.

"If it happens again.." Lavi warned. "I'll know something serious's up."

"I know. Trust me, Lavi. Everything is fine. Would Komui be sending me out tomorrow with you and Lenalee if I was unstable?"

Lavi nodded, his eyes narrowed in thought.

"Alright.." Lavi muttered. He hugged me tightly, pulling away quickly. "I got really scared, Allen-chan. Don't worry me like that."

I rolled my eyes. "We've known each other for a week!"

"Still!"

"Clingy much?" Lenalee teased, sauntering up to us.

"Hey, Lenalady." Lavi winked playfully, and Lenalee rolled her eyes.

"Don't let my brother catch you doing that," She warned, smiling. "Hey, speaking of him, he wants to see you both tonight for mission health inspection."

"Now?"

"Mmhm." Lenalee glanced over at the door leading to Doc Komui's office. "As soon as possible. He's kinda cranky."

"Oh great," Lavi groaned.

"Thanks, Lenalee!" I smiled and tugged Lavi along as he trudged in despair. Lavi and Komui never got along nicely, but when Komui was angry, Lavi always ended up getting screamed at the most.

"Doc?" I asked, opening the door.

"Just wait a moment, almost done."

Komui tipped his head towards the two waiting chairs that sat against the wall. Lavi and I both looked at each other when we realized Kanda was there, looking cross, on the table.

"Are we done yet?" Kanda complained. "I'm fucking starving, you haven't let me eat real food in days."

"By 'real food', do you mean soba, Kanda?" Komui smiled, egging the tempered teenager on. Kanda's hand twitched at his side, where his legendary (at least, as far as I've heard) sword rested. I smirked, and Lavi chuckled.

"We're done." Komui finished scribbling in his notes and Kanda rolled his eyes, hopping off the table. "Go eat your soba."

"With pleasure," Kanda growled, leaving the room.

"Alright, Lavi first." Komui said, flipping health records until he found Lavi's.

"'Kay, Doctor K," Lavi singsonged, sitting on the table.

Komui huffed, hating being called "Doctor K".

Lavi answered the questions incredibly fast, and Komui wrote just as quickly. I felt like a minute had passed when Lavi was getting off the table and leaning against the wall to wait for me as my own inspection began.

I sat on the table, feeling awkward as always when I sat on it.

"I just did a recent check on you, Allen..I only want to ask about the memories." Komui intoned, looking up at me over his glasses.

I stiffened, and Lavi suddenly looked interested.

"Do we have to talk about that right now?"

"Yes. I don't have time to do it later."

"I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth. "None have happened for a while, and I'm positive it won't happen during the mission."

"Practice mission," Komui corrected.

"Whatever!"

"Lavi," Komui turned to him. "Has Allen passed out lately? For example, spontaneously dropping to the ground for a minimum of two minutes, max of five?"

Lavi looked to me, and I begged him inwardly to lie for me.

"A few minutes ago." Lavi said quietly, looking guiltily at me. I glared.

"I see. So you're lying, Allen."

"So what? It's my business! No one else's!" I said crossly.

"I could suspend you from any missions, you know." Komui said, smacking his teeth. "Just one little slip of paper and Reever won't let you past the lobby."

"Fine! They've been happening a lot more than before! Are you happy?!" I seethed, clenching my fists and wishing to God Lavi wasn't in the room.

"Describe the most recent one."

"No way in hell."

"Allen Walker, so help me, I'll-"

"Oi," Lavi interrupted. "Allen, let's go. Komui sometimes doesn't know when not to pry."

I slid off the tabletop, following Lavi, glowering at the purple-haired doctor as I passed.

After the door was behind us, Lavi spoke.

"This has happened before?"

I nodded, looking down. I hated the memories, flashbacks from hell, whatever they were.

"Why?"

"I don't know." I said quietly. "They just started happening."

"What have you done about it?"

"I can't do anything.." I smiled sadly. "They aren't preventable, words and objects trigger them and- poof! I'm on the ground."

"I won't pry like Komui does.." Lavi stared at me with his visible, emerald green eye. "But that's messed up. You should figure that out."

"You're telling me," I muttered.


	9. Chapter 9

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Eight]

I rolled over in bed, rubbing my eyes. Although I had no window, I knew it was dark outside.

Excitement bubbled up inside me.

My first mission!

I hopped out of bed, ignoring the dizzy pang I felt with the sudden movement, slightly swaying as I walked. I got all of the supplies Komui told me to bring and put them in a small, black string backpack.

I threw on the dark green uniform hoodie and slipped on my boots, which Lenalee had repaired for me.

I quietly blew out the candle that was mysteriously flickering brightly every time I woke up (I still have no explanation for it) and left my room.

The hall was dark, save for the candle holsters that were lit every fifth candle. My eyes adjusted quickly, and I smiled as Lavi came into view in the Lobby.

"Hey, Allen." Lavi whispered.

"I still don't get why we have to leave when it's dark," I whispered back. "Everyone's sleeping!"

"Exactly." Lavi chuckled.

"Hey guys!" Lenalee whispered, trotting up to us. I smiled and nodded in greeting.

The Order was quiet, a strange thing. It was unsettling, I was so familiarized with the bustle and the chatter and the usually relaxed and happy vibe coming from the lobby.

The three of us made our way out of the subway tunnels at a moderate pace, but through a different way than I had entered a few weeks ago. (Last night, I had a sudden realization that I hadn't seen sunlight in weeks without noticing.)

We turned several times, stepping through the dark catacomb of tunnels easily. I felt excitement take control of my thoughts once more.

I was that much closer to being an official soldier of the Black Order Rebellion. The group that voiced all of my ideals. The group that welcomed me with open arms when I needed help, the secret world I'd never known existed just under the concrete.

I soon caught sight of the exit to the subway tunnels, a stairway leading up with moonlight shining through the top. Lavi grinned at me through the darkness.

"Excited, Allen?" He asked, bemused.

"Yeah."

"We haven't left Headquarters yet, but could you two please be quiet?" Lenalee hissed from ahead of us. "There could be violent traders or nighttime officials lurking about."

I pressed my lips together, terrified of this angered and serious Lenalee.

Lenalee tiptoed up the stone steps and into the blue night above ground. I watched carefully, analyzing each move the green-haired girl made.

She gave us a signal, flicking her wrist, and Lavi and I followed suit.

I crept up the stairs quickly and silently, as not to anger Lenalee further. Lavi muttered under his breath.

"I usually lead the group."

I flickered my gaze at him to let him know I heard.

We soon fled the abandoned streets of what I learned recently was Millennium Square, an older section of the City that had been evacuated due to a disaster.

As Lenalee picked up speed, weaving through buildings and heading for the outskirts of the city, Lavi took to jumping from tree branch to tree branch, while I tried to keep up, probably 15 feet behind at all times.

We made our way to the Wall fairly quickly. I was so focused on not being left behind that I never really paid attention to where we were going.

Lenalee made a soft clicking noise that echoed into the trees, and Lavi stirred above us and began jumping ahead.

Before I could ask my question, Lenalee glanced at me:

"He's checking the security. My brother usually does this beforehand, but he's been busy.."

I nodded, weary from running at least three miles with little rest. It wasn't too much of a hassle, but three miles is three miles.

"Don't fall asleep yet, Allen." Lenalee chuckled. "We're not even there yet."

I blinked and stood straighter in an attempt to keep myself alert.

Lavi dropped down from a tree many meters away. He used a tiny signal, a mere hand gesture, gripping his two left fingers and running forward. Lenalee immediately registered the signal and bolted towards him, and I sighed, sprinting to catch up once more.

And then I saw it.

I'd never been this close to the Guardgate before, it was something considered unneeded by citizens to travel there. I knew what it was, it was just the only way in and out of the City.

But I've never seen it.

Lavi glanced at me warily, grinning.

"Pretty, isn't it?"

I nodded. The Guardgate was adorned in shiny outlining, gold, maybe? But then again, maybe not. It was guarded by probably twenty armed men, all in Holy Britain uniform: the crisp, spotless, ironed navy-blue suit, their shoes polished to the point where the searchlights attached to the gate reflected off of them.

The guards all moved in synchronization, and the way they all stood exactly five feet or so from the actual gate was peculiar, until I looked closer.

It was electrified.

Lenalee signaled for all of us to get back into the trees, where we would monitor the gate for the next hour or so.

"Lenalee," Lavi whispered, a while later. "It's your turn. Go to sleep for a little while, okay? Allen and I have it under control."

Lenalee looked as if she wanted to protest, but she sighed and handed Lavi the binoculars and her notebook, where she'd been writing in nonstop. She laid back on the branch she'd been occupying and closed her eyes.

Lavi handed me the notebook and pencil, and held the binoculars to his eyes. Of course, he only used one part of the binoculars.

"Allen. Write this down."

I blinked and nodded quickly.

"I can't do both, I don't multi-task like Lenalee-san." Lavi muttered, not looking at me.

"The guards are moving out of the way, 2:57 AM, current time." Lavi said, and I began to write.

Lavi didn't wait for me to catch up. He continued talking.

"I think that's a Noah coming in- black limousine. Nice. Don't write that. Anyway." Lavi squinted his visible eye, and I paused my writing while he stared intently at the scene before us.

"The Noah is Tyki Mikk. He's returning from United Nations HQ. Identification: 20011287 HB8J..hm. Mikk is back in the limo. The guards verify his entrance with the computer code in their whatever-they-are's- the verifyers? I don't know the word. 2:59 AM, current time, the Guardgate is locked with a different password than earlier..PXGFHDVT-1109."

It all sounded rambling to me. What was the purpose of writing down codes and passwords if we weren't leaving the city?

"Mikk is escorted into the City, presumably City Hall, 3:00 AM. Current time."

Lavi stopped.

"We're done for the night," Lavi whispered. "Did'ja get all that?"

I nodded, finishing my sentence.

We woke Lenalee, who jumped at the sound of her name. She was tired, we both could tell, but she insisted she was fine and we made our way back to Headquarters.

The journey back was long.


	10. Chapter 10

**[Dissonance]**

[Chapter Nine]

When we arrived back at HQ, The big clock on the wall signified it was 5:37 in the morning. The Order was starting to begin its day.

"Welcome home, Lavi, Lenalee!" Reever called from his office. "You too, Allen."

I smiled and watched Komui wearily emerge from the dorms, holding a coffee mug in one hand and his usual clipboard in the other.

"Good morning, Niisan!" Lenalee smiled at her brother and walked towards him.

Lavi groaned.

"We didn't even really see nothing important," he grumbled. "Sorry your practice mission was kind of a let-down, Allen-chan."

I shook my head.

"It was a lot of work, even if there wasn't much action." I yawned. "I'm going back to bed."

Lavi nodded in agreement. "Same. Lenalee never goes to sleep after a mission, I don't have a clue how she does it."

* * *

[one week later]

"Doc, you wanted me?"

"Yes, sit down, Allen." Komui looked at me over his glasses, looking annoyed.

I sat.

"You know, I was going to send you on a real mission the other day." Komui clicked his tongue. "Any idea why I didn't?"

I shook my head. I wanted this to be over with, I was going to eat lunch with Lavi and Kanda today.

I don't hate being around Kanda, even though, in all honesty, he's an ass. I'm always arguing with him.

"If I knew that you were in good health mentally, you would have gone on that mission.. But I don't know because you won't _explain _the extent of your little 'memory-whatevers'." Komui hissed, tapping his pencil on his clipboard.

"Dammit, Komui!" I clenched my fists at my sides. "I'm _fine__! _I haven't had one since, like, before my practice mission!"

"I will not send you on a single mission until you tell me."

I sighed.

"Isn't it against the law to intrude on one's personal business without consent in Holy Britain?" I muttered.

"If you haven't realized it yet, Allen, this is an organization against Holy Britain and all of its laws." Komui rolled his eyes.

_Damn._

"Fine." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Whatever they are, they're triggered by sensory-related things- a smell, a word, a color, you get the idea. Once they start, I relive the memory- none of which, by the way, are mine- until it's over, and I usually come to on the floor. They're often followed by migraines, nausea, and sometimes a cold sweat. Good enough for you?"

Komui wrote very little on his clipboard.

"You've told me most of this. I want details on your most recent one, not a general description."

I groaned in exasperation.

"I don't remember! I told you, the last one was like, a week and two days ago!"

"God, Allen, just think for a minute!" Komui exclaimed, glaring at me. "It's not rocket science!"

I clenched my teeth and thought, rather than slipping up and saying things I'd later regret.

I remembered it a bit, to tell the truth. It was about the church..the church. There were men speaking about my father. I was..crucified, maybe, if I remembered correctly.

I watched Komui look at me in surprise.

"Allen..?"

I swayed.

Then it was black.

_My first thought was 'church'; the room was garnished with golden crosses and red velvet wall hangings. I tried to move, but it seemed I was strapped to a large cross myself, the ropes burning my wrists and angles. My chest was bare, riddled with ash and debris._

_Had I been crucified?_

_Why was I stuck like this?_

Internally, I recognized the scene, but I gathered the strength I had and glanced around the room I was in.

Cathedral would be a better word, I suppose, than "church".

I let out a quiet groan of pain; even lifting my head up a bit to see felt like it took all of my effort.

I realized there were other people, strapped to crosses of large sizes. The meticulously decorated room contained at least five other people.

Children, I realized in horror.

A strand of my hair fell into my face, and I stared at it in confusion. The lock of hair wasn't a luminescent white, it was a chocolate brown. It reminded me vaguely of a different memory-whatever, of that man I'd called "Mana". His facial hair was the same color, I think.

I looked around the room again, studying the children there.

One had black hair down to his shoulders, and his head hung, his arms held fast to the cross. If he was breathing, I couldn't tell. He was a good ten feet away from me. There were bandages all over his torso, soaked through with sticky red blood, and a small puddle had gathered, slipping down his legs and dripping onto the floor. He had gotten off worse than I had. Ash matted in his hair, and his pale skin shone with a sheen of sweat.

He didn't move from what I could see.

Poor boy..he was probably dead.

I stared at a different child. She was without a shirt just like the rest of us, ash and a few shallow cuts slashed across her chest. She breathed heavily, and I realized she was crying, tears streaming down her face and the tips of her overgrown blonde bangs were getting wet.

Before I could try and call out to her though, a familiar ache in the back of my head made itself noticeable, and I hissed in agony, blinking back into reality.

Komui watched me intently.

"Don't think you're leaving my office until you explain what just happened in detail." he deadpanned. I moaned.

"Jeez.."

"Sit up and talk when you're ready."

"I'd rather sleep. I have quite the headache."

"You're not sleeping until I have my information."

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up.." I tossed an arm over my face, hiding my eyes with the inside of my elbow from the painfully bright lights.

I heard the sound of Komui writing, and I sighed.

"I was in a cathedral, and I was tied to a cross. My chest was bare and I was covered in soot. I wasn't scratched up, as far as I could tell. It hurt to breathe." I mumbled. "This was just like a continuation of the most recent memory, a week ago. Last time I heard men talking about my father.. but this time I couldn't hear them. My hair was a different color, too. There were maybe five or six kids in there with me, they were all tied up on crucifixes, too."

I pressed my free hand to my right temple, wincing.

"Go on," Komui pressed.

"Gimme a minute, would ya? I have a migraine."

I stayed quiet for a minute before continuing.

"I saw one kid, and he was beaten up pretty bad. His torso was naked too..all of ours were. But he had deep cuts and there was a lot of blood..there was another child. A girl. She was crying. I was gonna say something to her, but I woke up."

"That's it?" Komui asked in confusion, dubious.

"Hey, be glad I'm even telling you this! That one was a lot longer than the normal ones."

Komui sighed loudly, and I moved my arm to glance at him. He waved his hand.

"Go now. I'm done."

I sat up slowly, trying not to upset my stomach.

"Am I allowed to go on any missions?"

"..We'll see."

"Tch." I stood carelessly, ignoring the wave of vertigo that hit me, and stormed from the small office.

I hated him.


End file.
